Sae-hae Bok Mah-ni Baht-u-se-yo!

Happy New Year everyone! The above is "Happy New Year" in Korean. The literal translation is "Receive many good fortunes in the new year."Ask a Korean! will be back on the first week of January. If you got some spare time, shoot the Korean an ema...

Watch Out for that Nasty Cold! (and Happy Holidays too.)

Dear Korean,Why is it that I've always heard Koreans (i.e. my dad and a cousin from Korea or even those Korean celebrities on those random TV shows) end conversations with some variation of "Be careful/Dress warmly/get a flushot so you don't catch a cold." I mean, I haven't heard this kind of cautionary phrase from Americans...

Reason Why Life as a Minority is Difficult, No. 5098

(Note: If you're curious about the sudden deluge of posts, it's because 1. nice people like you guys keep on sending questions, and 2. the Korean is in his finals period, and he doesn't want to study. Keep them coming!)Dear Korean,Why do Korean and other Asian business owners seem to guard their individual parking spots like Ninjas? There is usually a crummy sign that says "liquor store only".Unsigned.Dear...

You're not a Man until You Survived Military

Dear Korean,Why is it that every time I see a Korean at the rifle range he has at least one assault rifle? Is there some sort of rule that if a Korean owns a gun it has to be an AK-47?UnsignedDear Anonymous Coward,The Korean is one of those people who think the 2nd Amendment became obsolete when the U.S. government began to...

Special Two-Question Edition

Dear Korean,A while back I helped a Korean get elected to public office. His Korean supporters were constantly amazed that a normal white dude would be willing to help him. Any thoughts on the older folks and their white worship? What gives? These were all wealthy successful businessmen who ostensibly bought into the bullshit American dream story - why'd they care so much that a white guy would help...

Our First Fan Mail!

It's a truly momentous occasion in Ask A Korean! history. The Korean received a fan mail without any question attached to it! Here it is:Dear Korean,As an American girl married to a Korean boy (raised in Korea until age 14), I absolutely LOVE your blogspot! According to my husband, he's finished a major study in relation to amount of mean-ness vs. body mass. Apparently the Korean woman is only second...

The Mexican Asks the Korean

Dear Korean,Why do Koreans repeat "Annyong Haseo!" when someone greets them with "Annyong Haseo!" Isn't it redundant? And how does the meaning change?Salsa, the Mexican Brother of KimchiDear Salsa,The Korean would like to tell the readers that you are Gustavo Arellano, columnist for OC Weekly who is known for writing the insightful...

Quick Announcement

In an attempt to have some semblance of professionalism, Ask A Korean! will be updated every Friday morning, at least. There may be periodic updates, depending on the Korean's schedu...

Ask A Korean! News: A Competitor????!!!!!

It has been brought to the Korean's attention that there is a competitor to this blog, and it indeed is a formidable one. Take a look.Every post is simply brilliant, so here is a short example:Posted November 12, 2006 (Juche 95)Dear Mr. B,Living under the Imperialist American Regime has wreaked havoc on my follicles!! Where...

The Million Dollar Question

Dear Korean,Why do Korean men beat their wives, and can I get any hints on how I canbeat my wife like a Korean?Married in ManhattanFirst, I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving. The Korean went home to L.A. with the Korean Girlfriend. I am proud to say that the Korean Family went so mainstream that not only do have turkey, but we actually have the entire Thanksgiving meal catered. But onto the question.Dear...

It's Hard Out Here for a Pimpin' Korean

Dear Korean,I have met many Koreans who are originally from Korea, as well as many who were born in the United States. Why does it seem like the Koreans born in the United States are overwhelmingly likely to turn into hard-thuggin' gangsta wannabes, even if they grow up in nice neighborhoods?MikeDear Mike,Honestly, I met more...

Ask A Korean! News: Hellllll Yeahhhhhh

Samsung, the fantastic Korean electronics company that sells out-of-style cell phones to unwitting American buyers, developed a thing that can be described by no other word than AWESOME: a sentry robot that fires machine g...

Koreans: More Homogenized Than Milk

(Note: This question has been edited for length. Yes, it was longer. MUCH longer.) Dear Korean,I'm Korean-American. Why do Koreans try to fix things even though it is not their decision? For example: I don't go to church and devout church-going Koreans would try to make me go despite my repeated statements that I do not believe...

Ask A Korean! News: Portrait of Mail-Order Brides

First, a call for help. The Korean is somewhat discouraged by the slow flow of questions. Send in questions! Tell your friends! Thank you so much :)Remember in one of the last Ask A Korean! News that I would talk more about the mail-order brides? Well here it is. Below is some excerpt from the report by Presidential Advisory Committee on Correcting Wealth Gap and Discrminiation, titled "International...

Korean Men Will Drink Anything with Alcohol

Dear Korean,Why do Korean men love scotch so much? Why not vodka or beer?- UnsignedDear Anonymous Coward,What you have to realize is that Korean men will drink piss and sewage water as long as there is alcohol in it. So that might be a clue as to why Koreans love scotch - because it's the only liquor they have.Of course it's...

Ask A Korean! News: Koreans, the Most Evolved Humans

The Korean has long been aware of his people's prowess in the gaming world, and its effects in preventing our handsome men getting laid. But, as it turns out, those brilliant Korean virgins were not taking themselves out of the gene pool; rather, they have been investing their time evolving themselves so that they make a lasting...

Yellow Fever Sold Here

Dear Korean, I'm a non-Korean woman who has been involved with a Korean man for quite a few years. Due to financial burdens suffered by his family, my beau will be living with his parents until he has helped them pay off their house. While his father has taken no issue with my ethnicity (and even seems rather enthusiastic about me), his mother refuses to acknowledge me. I'm unceasingly polite to her....

Ask A Korean! News: The (Literally) Growing Race Problem in Korea

Ask a Korean! News will be different from any Korean news you can get from the U.S. It will pick up some news that Korean newspapers reported that the Korean thinks to be significant. Here is the first of the series.I know all Asians look alike. They kinda do. But surely the most ignorant reader of this thing can probably tell...

Our First Question!

Dear Korean,why are Korean men such awesome pool players?Jeff C., New York.Jeff,You submitted the first question ever to the Korean! A special prize (a jar of extra-aged kimchi) is on your way.Korean men on average do excel at pool (but not the Korean, who is merely average.) And it's for the same reason why Chinese people...

Welcome to Ask A Korean!

Today is Saturday, October 21, 2006. And today will be the birthday of this blog, Ask A Korean. This blog is inspired by Ask A Mexican (take a sample: http://www.ocweekly.com/columns/ask-a-mexican/ask-a-mexican/25980/) written by Gustavo Arrellano for the OC Weekly.In other words, I plan to answer any question you might have about the Korean people, both Korean American and Koreans in the old country....