Every post is simply brilliant, so here is a short example:
Posted November 12, 2006 (Juche 95)
Dear Mr. B,
Living under the Imperialist American Regime has wreaked havoc on my follicles!! Where does Dear Leader get his amazing hairdo?
With respect,
Tori S.
Dear Tori
We are so sorry to hear how much you suffer under the imperialist regime. We hope one day you will be set free like a flock of doves.Regarding our dear leader's amazing sense of style, he has his own official hairstylist. His name is Chon Hoon-Dae, and he has been dressing dear leader's hair since 1982. We are not too sure who had done his hair before that, but this is the man responsible for making dear leader glow like a shining light to all mankind.
Han See-Na
Citizen of Pyongyang
Man, how the hell am I supposed to compete with this? I think I am gonna send an email too...
Dear Pyongyang Citizen,
My name is The Korean, and I am the host of a very popular blog called Ask A Korean! Here is my blog - http://askakorean.blogspot.com. I am sure you won't be able to see my blog immdeiately since the imperialist America is blocking your Internet access to the world, but I am certain that your friend in the west who runs your website can tell you that both your website and my blog work for the same purpose -- enlightening the world of beautiful and brilliant Korean people.
However, I regret to tell you that I, the Korean, oppressed in thoughts and imagination by the imperialist American education, cannot even begin to match your comedic genius. There is simply no way. You are inspired by the shining light to the world that is Dear Leader and I am but a bug, blinded by being in His presence. I once heard that Dear Leader lost his virginity before his father, the Great Leader, did. Is that true? All I ever wanted to do was to give people a few laughs while they learn something about the glorious Korean people, but now I realize I am as inadequate as the South Korean economy, which may have given you the rice you are eating but could not make you as happy as Dear Leader.
How could I learn the style of great prose that you employ? I tried reading the work of the Great Leader, available freely at the library of my university, but his divine comedic genius was such that I could not read more than a sentence before bursting out belly laughs that last for hours. How do I resist the urge to laugh, and make people laugh instead?
I will be looking forward to your response. Now I must go and clean my refrigerator of my leftovers. If you are wondering, leftover is something one has when one has too much food. It's a shameful occurrence that I am sure hardly occurs in beautiful North Korea, but it happens quite frequently in the oppressed city of New York.
Sincerely,
The Korean
Fingers crossed for a response!
Got a question or comment for the Korean? Ask away at askakorean@hotmail.com.
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