The Korean's alma mater, University of California, is getting rid of five athletic programs: baseball, men's rugby, men's and women's gymnastics and women's lacrosse because of budget cuts. A layperson might think getting rid of baseball was the biggest deal, but actually it's getting rid of rugby that hurts the most. Cal men's rugby team won 25 national championships in the last 30 years. The Korean daresay that there probably is no other outfit in the history of organized sports that had that kind of dominance.

The Korean used to be a tour guide at Cal, and our amazing rugby team was the Korean's favorite line, along with our 65 Nobel Prize winners. This sucks. The Korean will need to Scotch tonight. Damn you to hell, California state government.