Sabtu, 06 Februari 2010

Ask a Korean! News: Super Bowl 2010

So far in AAK! history, there has been three Super Bowls, and three Super Bowl picks by the Korean. The Korean is 3-0 in those picks, including New York Giants over the 16-1 18-1 New England Patriots. Before the Korean picks this year, the updated annual rant comes once again. (If you had been reading AAK! for a while, you can skip this.)
Dear Commissioner Goodell,

Do you want to spread football to other countries? Then bring a goddamn franchise to Los Angeles.

Do you know how many Koreans watch MLB as Dodgers fans because Dodgers brought Chan-Ho Park? Do you ever wonder why there are 1.6 billion Houston Rockets and New Jersey Nets fans? It is thanks to the two very skilled guys named Yao Ming and Yi Jianlian. Manchester United, the world's most successful sports franchise, opened up a whole new market by signing Park, Ji-Sung (who is doing quite well this season.) Do you see a trend?

Currently Pittsburgh Steelers -- unfortunately missed the playoffs this year -- is probably the only NFL team that any Korean knows because Super Bowl XL MVP Hines Ward is half-Korean. Thanks to Hines Ward, Steelers playoffs games used to show on Korean television. Think about how amazing that is. Your league has made zero efforts to advertise in Korea, but people in that market are watching NFL, even though they know practically nothing about the sport.

A hypothetical LA team would naturally recruit heavily on Asian and Hispanic population to appeal to the local demographic. Even if it does not, it will attract Asian American and Hispanic American fans, who will naturally transmit their love of football through their frequent traffic with their homelands. Sooner or later, people in Asia and Central/South America would be watching football! It's that simple!

You somehow seem to be married to the idea of spreading football in Europe. The Korean has to ask: Why? Why obsess over that London game, when 16 years of NFL Europa plainly showed that Europeans do not care about football? Both MLB and NBA realize that Asia is the future of professional sports. Asia has an up-and-coming economy, and its people are receptive to new forms of entertainment.

The Korean will repeat: BRING A FRANCHISE TO LOS ANGELES. It will pay off in more ways than you can ever imagine. The Korean will write the same rant every year until you comply.

Sincerely,

The Korean
Ok, rant over.

Before the Korean goes onto his pick, it must be noted that a former California Golden Bear Scott Fujita is a starting linebacker for the New Orleans Saints. Fujita is also an outspoken advocate for gay rights, which got him featured on a New York Times article. Fujita also might be the second Asian American starting in the Super Bowl (after Hines Ward,) since Fujita was adopted into a family of Japanese American father and a white mother. (Fujita himself is not an ethnic Japanese. About his heritage, Fujita said: "I have no Japanese blood in my body. But I’m Japanese at heart.")

 
Fujita, exercising his Berkeley-educated mind to murder Manning and Addai

This will be a tough pick, mostly because the Korean has been busy with work and hardly followed pro football this season. (He did not even play fantasy football this year.) There are many factors to consider, like: How did benching starters affect the Colts' karma? How does Dwight Freeney's injury affect the Colt's defense? What will the Saints do as the "America's Team"? Don't the Saints have the better running game, the staple of playoff football?

But at the end of the day, the Korean just can't pick against Peyton Manning. Simple as that.

The Korean's pick:  Colts 31, Saints 21.
Bonus prediction: Dallas Clark will score a TD.

The Korean's Glorious History of Super Bowl Picks That Are Never Wrong

2009 pick: Steelers 24, Cardinals 13
2009 result: Steelers 27, Cardinals 23

2008 pick: Giants 27, Patriots 20
2008 result: Giants 17, Patriots 14

2007 pick: Colts 24, Bears 21
2007 result: Colts 29, Bears 17 

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

-EDIT 2/7/2010- Fuck you Manning, fuck you. You eat a bowl of cocks for breakfast. You ruined the Korean's perfection.  Now the Korean is only 75 percent correct in his picks.

GAAAAAH!!!! Losing sucks.

Saints 31, Colts 17

0 komentar:

Posting Komentar