If you happen to catch a glimpse of a Hyundai commercial with violin music in the background today, you are listening to the Korean Fiancee.

Ask a Korean! News: Super Bowl 2010

So far in AAK! history, there has been three Super Bowls, and three Super Bowl picks by the Korean. The Korean is 3-0 in those picks, including New York Giants over the 16-1 18-1 New England Patriots. Before the Korean picks this year, the updated annual rant comes once again. (If you had been reading AAK! for a while, you can skip this.)

Dear Commissioner Goodell,

Do you want to spread football to other countries? Then bring a goddamn franchise to Los Angeles.

Do you know how many Koreans watch MLB as Dodgers fans because Dodgers brought Chan-Ho Park? Do you ever wonder why there are 1.6 billion Houston Rockets and New Jersey Nets fans? It is thanks to the two very skilled guys named Yao Ming and Yi Jianlian. Manchester United, the world's most successful sports franchise, opened up a whole new market by signing Park, Ji-Sung (who is doing quite well this season.) Do you see a trend?

Currently Pittsburgh Steelers -- unfortunately missed the playoffs this year -- is probably the only NFL team that any Korean knows because Super Bowl XL MVP Hines Ward is half-Korean. Thanks to Hines Ward, Steelers playoffs games used to show on Korean television. Think about how amazing that is. Your league has made zero efforts to advertise in Korea, but people in that market are watching NFL, even though they know practically nothing about the sport.

A hypothetical LA team would naturally recruit heavily on Asian and Hispanic population to appeal to the local demographic. Even if it does not, it will attract Asian American and Hispanic American fans, who will naturally transmit their love of football through their frequent traffic with their homelands. Sooner or later, people in Asia and Central/South America would be watching football! It's that simple!

You somehow seem to be married to the idea of spreading football in Europe. The Korean has to ask: Why? Why obsess over that London game, when 16 years of NFL Europa plainly showed that Europeans do not care about football? Both MLB and NBA realize that Asia is the future of professional sports. Asia has an up-and-coming economy, and its people are receptive to new forms of entertainment.

The Korean will repeat: BRING A FRANCHISE TO LOS ANGELES. It will pay off in more ways than you can ever imagine. The Korean will write the same rant every year until you comply.

Sincerely,

The Korean

Ok, rant over.

Before the Korean goes onto his pick, it must be noted that a former California Golden Bear Scott Fujita is a starting linebacker for the New Orleans Saints. Fujita is also an outspoken advocate for gay rights, which got him featured on a New York Times article. Fujita also might be the second Asian American starting in the Super Bowl (after Hines Ward,) since Fujita was adopted into a family of Japanese American father and a white mother. (Fujita himself is not an ethnic Japanese. About his heritage, Fujita said: "I have no Japanese blood in my body. But I’m Japanese at heart.")

 

Fujita, exercising his Berkeley-educated mind to murder Manning and Addai

This will be a tough pick, mostly because the Korean has been busy with work and hardly followed pro football this season. (He did not even play fantasy football this year.) There are many factors to consider, like: How did benching starters affect the Colts' karma? How does Dwight Freeney's injury affect the Colt's defense? What will the Saints do as the "America's Team"? Don't the Saints have the better running game, the staple of playoff football?

But at the end of the day, the Korean just can't pick against Peyton Manning. Simple as that.

The Korean's pick:  Colts 31, Saints 21.

Bonus prediction: Dallas Clark will score a TD.

The Korean's Glorious History of Super Bowl Picks That Are Never Wrong

2009 pick: Steelers 24, Cardinals 13

2009 result: Steelers 27, Cardinals 23

2008 pick: Giants 27, Patriots 20
2008 result: Giants 17, Patriots 14

2007 pick: Colts 24, Bears 21
2007 result: Colts 29, Bears 17 

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

-EDIT 2/7/2010- Fuck you Manning, fuck you. You eat a bowl of cocks for breakfast. You ruined the Korean's perfection.  Now the Korean is only 75 percent correct in his picks.

GAAAAAH!!!! Losing sucks.

Saints 31, Colts 17

Interesting reflection by a New York Times journalist on China's dog meat consumption.

As it happened, our meal came shortly before the eruption of a furious online debate in China over a proposed “anti-animal maltreatment” law that would outlaw the eating and selling of dog and cat meat, making it punishable by fines of more than $700 and 15 days of detention.

The legislation, now under review, immediately came under heavy fire. One restaurant owner in the Chaozhou region declared: “This is ridiculous! You make dog and cat meat illegal, but aren’t chickens, duck, goose, pig, cow, lamb also animals?” Another noted a local saying: “When the dog meat is being simmered, even the gods become dizzy with hunger.”

I’m with these indignant protesters. I’m not happy that I ate dog. But I’m happy China eats dog. It so proclaims both a particularity to be prized in a homogenizing world and its rationality.

Dog Days in China (New York Times)

Ask a Korean! Wiki: Korean Science Fiction?

Dear Korean,

Can you recommend any good Korean or Korean American science fiction novels or movies?

Korean Trekkie


Dear Korean Trekkie,

Science fiction is just not the Korean's thing. Offhand, he can only think of Wonderful Days (2003), a critically acclaimed sci-fi animation movie (but a box office failure.)

 

Oh Wonderful Days, how the Korean hoped you would save Korean animation...

Readers, got anything?

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

AAK! Music: Around Thirty by Kim Gwang-Seok (1994)

-NOTE- Blogger is acting up. There are two videos on this post, but somehow you can only see them if you click the title of this post and bring up this post only. Do that to listen to the song. Sorry.

Today's selection is Around Thirty (서른 즈음에) by Kim Gwang-Seok (김광석):

서른 즈음에

Around Thirty

또 하루 멀어져간다

Another day drifts away

내뿜은 담배연기처럼

Like exhaled smoke

작기만한 내 기억속에

In my memories so small

무얼 채워 살고 있는지

What do I fill and live on

점점 더 멀어져간다

Drifts farther and farther away

머물러있는 청춘인줄 알았는데

Thought it was staying youth

비어가는 내 가슴속엔

In my emptying heart

더 아무것도 찾을 수 없네

Nothing more can be found

계절은 다시 돌아오지만

Seasons again return

떠나간 내 사랑은 어디에

But where my love that left

내가 떠나보낸 것도 아닌데

I did not let it leave either

내가 떠나온 것도 아닌데

I did not leave it either

조금씩 잊혀져 간다

Forgotten little by little

머물러 있는 사랑인줄 알았는데

Thought it was staying love

또하루 멀어져간다

Another day drifts away

매일 이별하며 살고 있구나

Living on saying good bye every day

매일 이별하며 살고 있구나

Living on saying good bye every day

Briefly about Kim Gwang-Seok:  Kim debuted in 1984 as a part of a band called 노래를 찾는 사람들 ("People Who Seek Music"), which played a large part in Korea's democratization movement by providing many songs with the underlying message of resistance. He later quit the band and debuted as a solo in 1989, after a short stint as a guest member of a band called 동물원 ("Zoo"). Kim goes on to have more than 1,000 live concerts from 1989 to 1995, a record of some sort. He has two albums with 동물원, four regular solo albums, and two compilation albums. Tragically, Kim committed suicide in January 1996, at the age of 34 -- perhaps the earliest example of celebrity suicide in Korea. Kim was more underground, and his songs were never chart-toppers. However, since his death, there have been five tribute albums in his name, reflecting the broad and everyday appeal of his music. 

About this song:  서른 즈음에 is on Kim's fourth and last regular album. In a survey of 40 pop music experts in 2007, 서름 즈음에 was selected to have the most powerful lyrics of the songs of 1990s. The responders said: "Listening to the song automatically makes you look back upon yourself."

Translation note:  작기만한 내 기억속에/무얼 채워 살고 있는지 was particularly difficult.

The Korean on Kim Gwang-Seok:  The barer of Korean soul of late 1980s. Unlike, for example, Kim Dong-Ryul, Kim Gwang-Seok's songs are always situation-specific, and never leaves the emotions of Korea in the 1980s -- no longer desperate for food and freedom, but vaguely afraid of what lies ahead. Even a song that could be more universalistic like this one, knowing what it likes to be facing 30 years of age in Korea of late 1980s doubles the emotional strength of the song.

Kim also represents the last scion of Korean pop culture up to mid-1990s, when a singer could be a star without having to appear on television or go through a production company. His songs are always simple, at times deceptively so -- just a guitar and his unassuming but clear voice. He would be the last of his kind, as a man who would forever change Korean pop music (for good and for bad) was gaining a mythological status right as Kim left this world.

After the jump, another video of Kim Gwang-Seok singing Around Thirty before a live audience.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Becoming Korean Citizen -- Update

Dear Korean,

Which of the ethnic Koreans (if any) in other parts of the world would be recognized as Korean by the South Korean Government were they to try to move to Korea?

Michael G.


Dear Michael,

The Korean previously wrote about acquiring Korean citizenship, but major changes of law regarding citizenship and immigration happened this past December that warranted an update.

But first, the Korean must put up a big caveat, given the types of questions he received since the last post:

THE KOREAN IS NOT AN IMMIGRATION LAWYER, OKAY? Everything in this post is based on his reading of newspaper articles and a little bit of Internet search. The Korean has no idea how your particular situation might work in terms of gaining Korean citizenship. The Korean has neither the ability nor time to track down every little regulation in the immigration law that might decide your fate. A very simple Naver search for 이민 변호사 will give you plenty to go by if you want any detailed discussion.

What, you don’t know what Naver is? And you don’t know what 이민 변호사 means either? You don’t speak Korean and need help? THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO GET KOREAN CITIZENSHIP???? For God’s sake people, THINK for yourselves once in a while. Although this is not quite yet the season for “Best of the Worst 2010”, the Korean will reproduce an early entrant for it below. This is an example of stupidity. Learn from it, and stop doing it. Please.

From: Brandon C.
To: The Korean

I have a question for you while I was reading "Becoming a Korean Citizen"
I am concerned whether I should renounce my Korean citizen or recover it...

My current story: I am a "former" Korean citizen who currently is living in Canada with a US citizenship, a Commonwealth citizenship, and a Canadian Citizenship. I have an old Korean citizenship card and passport that no longer works online anymore... My parents may have renounced mine as well...

Although I plan to recover the citizenship at one point, but I'm also concerned if I have to attend the compulsory military service in Korea that all Korean men require to do, since I am a Korean male. I'm even more concerned if I can recover the citizenship in the first place.

I am most likely going to follow the "simplified naturalization" path rather than "general naturalization" although I have a Korean vocabulary and grammar knowledge of a Jr.High school student despite me being a current high school student senior...

PS: The real reason of recovery of my Korean citizen is to continue enjoying registration and playing on Korean sites and online games and keep up with my cousins and childhood friends whom most of them are still in Korea ...

If there is a way to recover my citizenship other than military service, can you please tell me? or it must be done as a Korean male?
I do not mind living in Korea for another 3 years to get the citizenship if I have to ...
If yes, then do I have to talk to the ROK Consular General in Toronto regarding these issues or should it be done by KIA?

(Emphasis added by the Korean)

You want Korean citizenship because you want to play some goddamn ONLINE GAMES?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

 

THIS is worth changing your citizenship over?

Alright, deep breath. Now that the Korean vented enough, let’s get down to business.

-EDIT 2/3/2010- Commenter Michelle noted that the reformed Citizenship Act did not yet pass, and she is correct. The revision was finalized at the executive branch on Dec. 22, 2009, and will be submitted to the National Assembly at the next session where it will (most likely) be enacted into law -- if National Assemblymen are not too busy fighting each other.

The most important change is that now, certain category of Korean citizens may hold dual citizenship. Korean citizens who were born into dual citizenship (e.g. a child born into Korean citizen within U.S. territory) previously had to choose one citizenship or the other when they turned 22. If they did not choose, they would automatically lose their Korean citizenship. Now, such people can hold both citizenships as long as they sign an affidavit stating that they will not exercise their non-Korean citizenship in Korea. (For example, dual-citizenship holders cannot escape paying Korean taxes by claiming their non-Korean citizen status.)

Dual citizenship also applies to adoptees who lost their Korean citizenship simply by virtue of gaining a different citizenship. Previously, if they restored Korean citizenship, they had to renounce their non-Korean one – which Ministry of Justice considered overly harsh. Now, the adoptees may restore their Korean citizenship without giving up their non-Korean one, under the same condition as above.

Non-Koreans who become Korean citizens by marrying a Korean citizen can also hold dual citizenship. Ethnic Koreans older than 65 years of age who are non-Korean citizens may also restore their Korean citizenship without having to renounce their non-Korean one, essentially holding dual citizenship. Also significant is that Chinese-Koreans who have lived in Korea for more than 20 years can hold dual citizenship under the same conditions as other dual citizenship holders.

The last category of people who benefit is those non-Koreans who fall under “high value foreign human resource”. Since the law only passed a month ago, the regulations are not set up as to exactly who count as “high value foreign human resource”. (The Korean made up that term, by the way. MoJ’s press release says 우수 외국 인재.) Significantly, these people no longer have the five-year domicile requirement – which is huge, since living lawfully in Korea for five years was the hardest part of gaining Korean citizenship.

There is a big exception to the dual citizenship rule, which is a case in which the parents deliberately give birth to a child outside of Korea such that the child will have dual citizenship. (U.S. and Canada are popular destinations.) Ministry of Justice estimates that 5,000 to 7,000 infants were born in this manner, which is more than 1 percent of all Korean newborns. Therefore, following more regulations, anyone found to have deliberately acquired a dual citizenship will not have an option for dual citizenship. There is some hint also that anyone who abuses the dual citizenship status would lose her Korean citizenship, although details are scarce at this point.

This is obviously a step taken with an eye toward the compulsory military service, since not serving the military duty is an extremely sensitive issue in Korea. In fact, the requirement for military service became more rigorous under the new legislation. Previously, a dual citizen male could renounce his Korean citizenship any time prior to age 22 to get out of the military duty. Now, the same person is not allowed to renounce his Korean citizenship unless he fulfilled his military duty if he is trying to renounce his Korean citizenship after his 18th birthday.

Other than that, the rest of the immigration system appears to remain the same – which means that Korea will continue to have a surprisingly liberal immigration policy. The Korean is especially a fan of the more open policy for foreign talent. His greatest complaint against the current immigration system in the U.S. is that it turns away people who graduated from top American colleges and graduate school, already have a job in America, and want to continue living in America. Even if the qualified non-American citizens somehow get to stay in America, their status is constantly in jeopardy, hurting American industries. Google, for example, needs a dedicated team of “immigration fixers” to make sure that their talented workers can work for them.

Currently there are around 80,000 non-ethnic Koreans who hold Korean citizenship, with 100,000 more waiting in the paperwork line. While no one will mistake Korea for immigration-liberal country like Canada, the Korean thinks Korea has taken a positive step in preparing itself for the inevitable future where more people will be living far away from where they had been born.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Ask a Korean! News: Iowa Hawkeyes are Huge in Korea

Heads have exploded in the headquarters of the excellent college football blog, Everyday Should be Saturday. The blog discovered that the new Girl's Generation (a k-pop group, if you didn't know) music video prominently features the girls kissing the Iowa Hawkeyes helmet.

From EDSBS:

What do South Korea and Iowa have in common? Plenty. Both are rivals with a dictatorship led by an aging charismatic leader and his son. Both are blazing hot in the summer and ball destroyingly cold in the winter. Both have a fondness for beer and chain restaurants, and both South Korea and Iowa love freedom and democracy. Iowa exercises their love primarily by its unique role in the American primary system, and South Korea does so by periodically erupting in the fiercest rioting on the planet ...

And no, the Korean is not posting the video here. He had to wear goggles while watching the video just to make sure he did not claw his eyes out.

Many thanks to Benjamin P. for the tip.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.