Today was the 59th anniversary of the beginning of the Korean War.

Good to see that Hawaiians are listening to the Korean.

New York Times: Hawaiians Shrug Off Missile Threat

Someone apparently put AAK! as an external link for "Korean American" entry in Wikipedia. Whoever did that, thanks. Let's see how long this lasts -- the Korean's last foray into Wikipedia did not last very long.

Is It Safe to be in Korea Now?

Dear Korean,

Six months ago I decided to get certified to teach English abroad and have been researching South Korea in plans to go in September of this year. As I progress in my certification I can't help but notice the tension and heightened alert on the activity in North Korea, as it is in the news almost daily. Korean, is this a bad time to be considering a move to Busan to teach English as a foreigner? Do South Koreans feel on edge and threatened by their difficult siblings in the North? Would you consider moving to Korea or would you seriously reconsider with the political climate in the region right now?

LakerDynasty09

Dear Most Excellent Pen Name,

Yes! Lakers! World champions!

Sorry, the Korean had to work off the euphoria he has had since Sunday. Your question is serious and timely, so let us look at it. The question is really two parts: (1) Is Korea more dangerous than usual? (2) Is it safe to be in Korea right now? The short answers to the questions are no and yes. Allow the Korean to explain.

First, the danger of North Korea previous to the nuclear testing has always been underestimated, particularly in the American media. Currently, most of North Korea’s artilleries and short-range missiles are lined up against the Armistice Line – which means North Korea can turn half of Seoul into dust at any time it wants, without using any nuclear weapon or long-range missile.

The Korean had his doubts in the beginning stage of North Korea’s nuclear testing and ICBM development several years ago, but it seems increasingly clear that North Korea’s nuclear weapons and long-range missiles are meant to be used as a bargaining chip against the United States, not against South Korea. Joo Seong-Ha, one of the most legitimate analysts of North Korea called the idea of North Korea's developing ICBM to attack Korea a "sophism", because "it can attack Korea with a cannon at any time."

This situation is not new; this situation has essentially been the same since the 1970s. American media is reacting right now to North Korea’s missiles and nuclear weapon because of they affect the United States – and such reaction is justified. But that does not mean that Korea is a more dangerous place than before.

Then the natural question is – is it (and has it been) safe to be in Korea? Truly, there is only one scenario in which it would be dangerous to be in Korea – a full-scale war in the Korean peninsula. This scenario is extremely unlikely. Again, quoting from Joo, North Korea cannot even handle South Korea even if South Korea voluntarily offered itself to be under Kim Jong-Il’s rule. Therefore, the reenactment of Korean War – in which North Korea genuinely attempted to overtake South Korea under its rule – is completely out of the question.

Even the terrorist attacks that North Korea used to engage up to mid-1980s no longer have a purpose. Until mid-1980s, there was a tiny sliver of possibility that if the South Korean president was assassinated, for example, the ensuing chaos may enable North Korea to overtake South Korea. But that was over 20 years ago. In a race between North Korea and South Korea, South Korea won decisively and definitively. Everyone in the world knows this, including Kim Jong-Il, North Korean leadership and every North Korean person.

In fact, the true measure of danger posed by North Korea is the 48 million canaries in the coalmine – 48 million South Koreans. After all, these are the people who remember the actual invasion, and dealt with North Korea’s threat for the past 60 years. These are the people who would be most directly affected if North Korea’s danger were true. The Korean remembers that during the 1980s, whenever North Korea made a saber-rattling gesture, the canned and dried goods section of the supermarket would empty out for days, as South Koreans prepared for war by hoarding those goods.

[This type of scene was common in 1980s whenever North Korea made a threat.]

But what did South Koreans do when North Korea recently tested the nuclear weapon and long-range missile? Nothing. The Korean media reported it around the clock, as they were obviously big news. But on the ground level, few even blinked. Even for South Koreans, the possibility of North Korea affecting their lives was too remote to care. If South Koreans do not feel any danger, there is no reason anyone else should.

If you don't believe the Korean, here is Korea Beat's excellent compilation of the top 10 most read articles on Naver (Korea's version of Yahoo!) on the week ending on May 31, during which North Korea tested the nuclear weapon:

1. An initial report that police had confirmed the death of former president Roh Moo-hyun.
2. Park Ji-sung.
3. Park Ji-sung.
4. Park Ji-sung.
5. Barcelona defeated Manchester United 2-0 in the Champions League final.
6. Park Ji-sung.
7. More on the Champions League final.
8. An initial report that Roh had left a suicide note.
9. Park Ji-sung.
10. In Japan, Lim Chang-yong recorded his 14th save of the season by striking out three consecutive Nippon Ham Fighters.

If you still don’t believe in the Korean, here is the tally of all deaths caused by North Korea since the fall of Soviet Union in 1991: 17 (13 soldiers/police, 4 civilians) died in the course of capturing the 13 spies who infiltrated South Korea by a submarine on the eastern coast of Korea in 1996; one prominent North Korean defector was assassinated in Seoul in 1997; 5 seamen died in the naval skirmish that occurred in 2002; A North Korean guard shot one South Korean tourist who was touring Geumgang Mountain in North Korea and went outside of the restricted area in 2008. That’s 24 deaths in 18 years, average 1.33 deaths per year. Consider this in contrast: in 2007 alone, lightning strikes killed or injured 22 South Koreans.

If you wish to be extra careful (or make your parents worry less,) you can register yourself with the American embassy in Seoul, which has an evacuation plan ready for all American civilians of which it is aware in case of an emergency. But really, when you are thinking about visiting South Korea, North Korea should really be one of your last worries, ranked right around lightning strikes and Fan Death (which is real).

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Ask a Korean! News: Joo Seong-Ha on Laura Ling and Euna Lee

Here is something for the followers of Laura Ling and Euna Lee. Joo Seong-Ha of Nambuk Story has spoken to the guard who captured the reporters:

I tried to find out the circumstances of the capture. A border patrol officer
who is stationed in Gang'An-Li simply answered, "We saw the women roaming
around in early morning, so we caught them." I asked him, "Did you get
someone to lure them into crossing the border?" "You weren't waiting for them?",
etc., but he replied, "Not at all." ... Also considering that the men
who ran away are keeping quiet, it does seem like it was the reporters' fault.

The Korean would not be surprised if North Korea kidnapped the reporters across the border, but Joo is a reputable journalist with an extremely deep and wide connection within North Korea. Those who doubt him about North Korea do so at their own peril.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Ask a Korean! News: Your World Champion Los Angeles Lakers!!!!

Suck it, haters!!

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Ask a Korean! News: Some Korean Singers Will be in LA

Public service announcement:

Dear Korean,

My name is Tatevik Simonian and I am contacting you on behalf of the Music Center in Los Angeles.

In the second year of the concert series, Global Pop at the Music Center continues to celebrate the performances of popular artists from around the globe at the iconic Walt Disney Concert Hall. On June 19th, Global Pop will feature acclaimed Korean pop superstars Wheesung and Lena Park.

Wheesung became an instant sensation in his native Korea after his first solo album release in 2002. His sophomore album catapulted him into stardom and made him the best selling artist of 2003. He has collaborated with many artists including Se7en, M-Flo and most recently British R&B artist Craig David.

From R&B and Korean /Japanese pop, to gospel, Lena Park is an artist with a wide-range of musical stylings. Best known for her impeccable vocals, Lena was selected to represent Korea in the opening and closing ceremonies of the 2002 FIFA World Cup and is an influential singer-songwriter who has released albums and singles in Korean and Japanese.

Ask a Korean! readers can visit http://www.ticketmaster.com/promo/e4z0dh and enter access code KPOP to receive a 20% discount on seats!

Location:
Walt Disney Concert Hall
135 North Grand Ave. Los Angeles, CA 90012

Tickets:
$30-$85
Visit Ticketmaster.com, the WDCH Box Office or call 213-368-2511 (Korean) or 213-365-3500 (English).

-Tatevik

Dear Tatevik,

While the Korean wishes you well on your event, he has less than zero interest in Wheesung, Lena Park and their ilk. Let the Korean know when real artists like Seo Taiji come to America. The only reason why the Korean bothered to put this up on the blog is because you were offering a discount, which would be of interest to some of AAK!'s readers.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Ask a Korean! Wiki: Oppa! Oppa! Oppa!

After a few serious and gloomy news, back to our regular scheduled program...

Dear Korean,

I recently dated a Korean guy who was impressed with my knowledge of Korea/Korean pronunciation/Korean culture. One day we were talking and he asked me if I knew what I would call him and I responded, "oppa." (He was older than me.) He seemed to really like it, especially because I pronounced it correctly.

My question is, what would be your/an average reaction to a white girl calling you "oppa"? (Sparingly, of course. I do not plan on running up to all older Korean men with a greeting of, "oppa~!" just because I can, haha.) Would you like it? Would you think it's weird? Would it upset you? Catch you off guard?

Megan, She Who Loves the Oppas.

Dear Megan,

The Korean has previously written that Korean men are men before they are Korean, and there is no super-secret way of seducing them. But you just might have something that disproves the Korean. For some Korean men, the term oppa is known to act like a kryptonite.

Oppa means "(a woman's) older brother", but now it has evolved into a term of familiarity used by a woman for men who are older than the woman. Because the majority of relationships involve older men and younger women, the woman in the relationship frequently calls the man oppa. Such term has carried over even after marriage, eliciting frowns from traditionalists/purists (such as the Korean). Passionate girl fans for a male celebrity are often referred to as oppa budae ("oppa troopers"), because whenever a celebrity appears, a horde of girls run after him screaming "Oppa! Oppa!! Oppa!!!!!"

Personally, oppa totally works on the Korean, perhaps because being called by that term is a rare occurrence for the Korean since he has no younger sister. (Knowing this, however, the Korean's non-Korean dude friends sometimes call the Korean oppa, stirring up murderous rage.) So far, it has not made a difference if the term came from a Korean or a non-Korean. However, the Korean has also heard from other Korean American men that hearing oppa from a non-Korean is actually a turn-off.

This probably just means that the Korean is easy, but Korean men readers, have your say at it. Does oppa work on you?

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Lakers woooooot

Ask a Korean! News: Nuclear Weapon and Two Prescriptions

The Korean does not know a better place to read about North Korea than Nambuk Story by Mr. Joo Seong-Ha, whom the Korean has pimped several times already. Here is Mr. Joo's reaction to the most recent nuclear testing by North Korea, translated by the Korean.

North Korea Had a Stroke: Nuclear Weapon and Two Prescriptions

All kinds of analyses are available since North Korea has tested nuclear weapon, and I will offer my opinion. This is my personal view with respect to this nuclear test.

Effectless Sanctions against North Korea

UN Security Council is abuzz with the talks of sanctions against North Korea. Tomorrow's paper will offer more detail [the Korean's note: this post is dated 5/26/09], but it will be a merely symbolic action that will not offer any tangible result. In fact, the subject of the sanctions is not afraid of such sanctions, as North Korea has lived through several decades of sanctions.

Like the way South Korea's stock market has learned enough not to waiver in the face of North Korea's nuclear testing, North Korea would have anticipated the sanctions regime after the nuclear testing. The learning effect applies equally to North Korea, which has experienced the blockade of Banco Delta Asia. It would have already prepared sufficient measures against various possible situations.

United Nations or the United States are taking action so as not to appear to be doing nothing and also in order to prevent other countries from copying North Korea's action, but from North Korea's perspective such actions are laughable as they do not produce any tangible result.

North Korea's Rotting Core

The greatest danger to North Korea comes from inside. To compare to a person, the North Korean regime is like an intensive care patient. North Korea of yesteryear demonstrated the scary uniformity geared toward a singular goal, created as a result of nationwide brainwashing.

Such uniformity is no more. After the serious economic troubles since 1995, the people began to distrust the regime to the extent that now even the middle-ranking officials do not trust the regime. Those officials now think, "This regime will be gone sooner or later, so the most important thing is to look out for myself and earn as much as I can." The North Korean people living inside the regime most clearly know that the talks of Strong Nation by 2012 are no more than an impossible hot air.

Nowadays the orders from the central government have stopped working. Just from this year, there was an order prohibiting marketplaces in April and individually owned farming plots in May, but neither has been implemented to any degree. Order from the central regime is nothing but an excuse for fattening the coffers of officials, as they use them to collect bribes.

Again comparing to a person, previously there was only a paralysis in the extremities (the people), but now there is a paralysis in the central nervous system (the middle-ranked officials). Even in this state, the regime somehow barely chugs along thanks to the inertia of the past 60 years.

But this patient with the paralyzed central nervous system now says it will set up a succession structure. A major operation is scheduled in the time of ill health, so to speak. The patient's life is hanging in balance.

Tension as a Gift to North Korea

A patient with a terminal illness has two paths in front of him: either live or die after a major operation, or stay alive as long as he can while taking painkillers before he eventually dies.

For North Korea, the major operation is making a deal with the nuclear weapon as a bargaining chip. Nuclear weapon is everything that destitute North Korea owns. There is no one who easily gives everything one owns, and that includes North Korea.

If North Korea is to give everything it owns, it will give up expecting something huge. I would imagine something to the tune of guaranteeting the regime survival, economic aid (including around $10 billion from Japan following a normalization of relationship, massive economic aid from South Korea, international food aid, etc.) Making this type of exchange and rejuvenating the economy under the China-style reform policy would be equivalent to a major surgery.

North Korea is not worry-free in this exchange. Even if the exchange were successful, there is no guarantee that the regime would survive that major operation.

But even for the other side's perspective, that exchange may prove too costly. Nuclear weapon is not exactly something that can never be tolerated - if that were the case, Kim Jong-Il would have been taken care of. But the situation has come thus far because a decision was made that Kim Jong-Il with nuclear weapon is better than dealing with the subsequent friction with China or the chaos in the Korean Peninsula.

We have to forget about the naive idea that we can exchange something small like light-water reactor with nuclear armament. Something like light-water reactor is but a pill or an injection, not the major operation that North Korea needs. There is no one who spends one's entire fortune to take a pill or receive an injection.

In other words, one side does not want to give up the nuclear weapon for too little, and the other side does not want to pay too much. This is not an easy environment for a deal. Then the patient North Korea, whose central nervous system is becoming paralyzed, must trudge along while taking painkillers.

Problem is that, obviously, even the painkillers are not free. While North Korea of course provides the reason for it, but the United States, Japan and Korea are the providers of the painkillers. U.S., Japan and Korea do not sit tight when North Korea raises the tension through nuclear testing or missile launch. They give a prescription like UN Security Council yada yada, North Korea sanctions etc. etc.

This is a painkiller prescription for North Korea, as it allows to raise the internal tension and impose stricter control over the people by using the external threat as an excuse. Already such fascist control as "the 150-day battle" is being imposed. This acts as a painkiller to the muscle that refuses to take orders.

Once the painkillers like nuclear weapon or missiles wear off, North Korea will further try to create a reason to receive painkillers such as a naval skirmish in the Yellow Sea. From North Korea's perspective, it's not so bad for it to survive for another 10 years or so like this.

Until North Korea dies, South Korea is the one that needs to go through all that trouble for the next 10 years. Each time North Korea needs a painkiller, South Korea will have to deal with its mess. It is a pity.

Internal Dissension within North Korea

But in my view, there is no small conflict on interest between different generations within North Korea. The top leadership ranks of North Korea are all very old - generally over 70 years old.

Because these old foagies will die at around the same time as Kim Jong-Il, they locked in with Kim Jong-Il's steps. At any rate, Kim Jong-Il would have taken care of those old foagies who did not lock in.

These people prefer to endure on painkillers until they die, since they won't have much longer to live anyway. They are the proponents of the hard-line stance of North Korea.

But the younger generation is different, as they have a different day to die from those of the North Korean leadership. They think it is better to take the major operation if there is only about ten years to live. Right now they are silenced because they do not have the core authority, but internally there is much discontent.

But even this younger generation probably would not help South Korea either. Since they are desperate for the operation, they are just as unpredictable as to what they might do if South Korea told them, "No operation is coming."

Greater Risk in No Pre-Announcement

It must be noted that this nuclear testing was conducted without any pre-announcement unlike the first testing. There was a very long prelude before the first nuclear testing. I am personally thankful that this time, I did not have to stay at work until midnight for a whole week. But the problem is this type of action poses a greater risk.

In 2006, the testing came after several days of screaming, "Let me have the operation and nobody gets hurt!" But this time, there was no such preface, getting right into action without any hollering. It looks almost as if they give up on the operation, although one could interpret it as North Korea running out of patience as its core starts rotting in.

In short, North Korea simply decided to increase its holdings without regards to anything else. They must be thinking: "This is the end game. We need to maximize what we have, and there is no need to think about anyone else."

Previously North Korea's attitude was, "This is all I got, so could I please get something out of it? Please?" But now the attitude has changed to, "After all, only a lot of money (assets) can buy the major operation," or "Even if I die, my children need to be protected with more assets." Alternatively, North Korea may have been thinking "I will earn some time to gather assets" already since it conducted a nuclear test in 2006 and participated in the six-party talk.

It is exceedingly difficult to take away entire assets of someone who is totally dedicated to increasing those assets without heeding anything else. In other words, the price that America must pay to have North Korea give up nuclear weapon is rising by the day.

Why the Bomb during a Funeral?

I believe the date for the nuclear testing was already decided when North Korea announced that it will hold the trial for American reporters on June 4. By their calculation, it would have tested the nuke on May 25, American Memorial Day, then would give about a week for the international society to have their chatter. After that chatter, North Korean would show the trial card, asking "Now that you are done talking, what would you do about this?"

But then the funeral [of ex-president Roh] happened in South Korea. The national funeral ends at the 29th. North Korea does care about South Korea's public opinion, but testing on the 29th means they have to use up the reporter trial card while the angry chatter is going on in the world. In other words, North Korea would waste a useful card within the din of post-nuclear test. But postponing the trial just for that would look bad. From its own perspective, North Korea tries to keep its word, although North Korea's interpretation of its word is often different from anyone else's.

My view is that North Korea thought about South Korea for a second, then went ahead with the testing because its plans would be ruined. It is not as if North Korea has enough leeway to care what South Korea at any rate.

Furthermore, North Korea right now playing a game with the U.S., not with South Korea. It must have calculated: "Bush looked like he was going to kill us when we tested nuke, but he ended up taking us off the state sponsor of terrorism list anyway. So what would you do, Obama? Wouldn't you eventually extend a hand?"

I meant to write something short but it ended up being long and rambling. I will conclude by wishing wisdom for our government as it responds to the current situation.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.