Jason Williams is retiring.

The Korean remembers all the legendary Lakers - Kings games of the late 90s~early 00s, and watching J-Will's career start was a rare treat. The man had an amazing court vision, and ballhandling skills like no other. If he did not decline so rapidly in his later years, he would have been just as good as Steve Nash.



Thank you for the memories J-Will. Hope your retirement life is spent well.

Ask a Korean! News! - North Korean Arcades are Incredibly Sad

You are a strapping North Korean child. Your parents are middling officers of the Central Party, so you have escaped the dire starvation that afflicts the peasants. Heck, you might even have some coins to spend. It's been a long day of saluting, marching, shooting, and singing the glory of the Great Leader and the Dear Leader. Now you are bored. What do you do?

Go to the arcade, of course.



March to the nearest "Hall of Entertainment", which is frankly fancier than any "Entertainment Room" (direct translation of 오락실, South Korean term for arcade) that the Korean has ever visited. Most of the arcades in South Korea are in a cramped, sunless basement. North Korean arcade seems to be large, well-ventilated, and sunny. All thanks to the Dear Leader.

Let's see what's inside.

Okay, the racing game looks a little crowded, that's okay....



Who needs car racing when you can play the most AWESOME torpedo firing game????



The submarine got captured by the South Joseon Puppets (남조선 괴뢰)? That's ok, you can bomb the imperialists from the air instead.


Once their buildings are bombed, shoot them with your handgun.



Even grown-ups are getting ready for the day of reckoning.



When it gets real sunny, some machines need ventilation as well.


In all seriousness, the Korean does not know what to think about these pictures. They are mind-blowing. On one hand, the crappiness of the games are pretty incredible. They all look like some old machines at a motel in a town called Bumfuck in a Big Square State, where Ryu and Ken fight in crazy technicolor caused by the deteriorating monitor. And why can't North Koreans come up with a more attractive Korean font than the ones that look like it was written with a calligraphy brush?

On the other hand, it is still interesting that at least some North Korean children (and adults, apparently) get to play video games. The Korean feels that in many ways, the 2-bit arcade games of the 1980s were superior to all the fancy stuff that the kids play now. And North Koreans get to enjoy it, for whatever that's worth.

Incredible pictures (and the most apt headline) from Gizmodo, via UK: Resistance. Many thanks to the Korean Brother for sending the link.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Good article on New York Times about how to deal with different cultures.

Can you tell the Korean has been catching up with Deadspin lately?

Well, today is a story of a high school football team that won the game by repeatedly calling the opposing players n----- until the other team quit, and the story of the same high school principal saying his team would have been better off not playing teams "out of the area".

The Korean still stands by his belief that America is the least racist country in the world, but like one commenter on that post said, sometimes it feels like that is not saying much.

Today will be remembered as the day when House Republicans euthanized John McCain's miserable campaign.

Tim Kawakami is an excellent sports writer cover Bay Area sports, including Oakland Raiders. Here, he recalls a conversation with Al Davis, owner of the Raiders.

It was at the press conference announcing the hiring of Kiffin. Afterwards I was talking to Al, and remarked that I thought it was a strange hire, given that Kiffin was so young and had no head coaching experience. Al didn't like that, and said: 'I'll bet you don't even know who Deng Xiaoping was.' I was like, what? What does that have to do with anything? Al pressed it. 'Who is Deng Xiaoping?' So I thought for a minute, and said, 'Well, if I'm not mistaken, wasn't he the General Secretary of the Chinese government during the Tiananmen Square massacre?' And Al repiles, 'But what can you tell me about him other than that? See? You don't even know anything about your own culture.' I said, 'Al, I'm Japanese-American, not Chinese.' And Al said, 'Ohh, geez. I bet you're going to kill me on that now.' It all happened in front of about 20 reporters, so I didn't have to.

The Korean wonders if Davis was trying to invoke Deng's famous quote, "I don't care if it's a white cat or a black cat. It's a good cat so long as it catches mice." At any rate, poor execution Al, just like your team.

Source: Deadspin

The Korean once wrote about Korean men's drinking habits. As it turns out, Korean women are not too far behind either.

From Korea Beat.

Ask a Korean! Guest Blogger - GI Korea: Why do GIs Complain about Korea?

Introduction

Recently there were cooperative cross postings on Roboseyo’s blog as well as Ask A Korean on Why Expats Complain About Korea? The cross postings drew a lot of debate around the Korean blogosphere on why expats complain so much about living in the Land of the Morning Calm. Well in the same spirit The Korean and I thought it would make for interesting reading if I posted on why GI’s Complain About Korea while he posted on Why Koreans Complain About GI’s. Hopefully everyone will find these two postings to be interesting and at least thought provoking reading on why each side complains about the other.

Below is a list of reasons why GI’s complain about Korea in no particular order. I’m sure I probably missed a few so readers feel free to add to the reasons Why GI’s Complain About Korea in the comments section below.

Unaccompanied Tours – There are probably fewer things that upset people stationed in Korea then having to go to Korea without their families. This complaint is getting worse because of the number of people serving a year or more in a conflict zone and then coming back to the US to just receive orders to go to Korea for another year away from their families. I had an E-6 who deployed to Afghanistan with the 101^st Airborne and then came back to the US for a few months to just be deployed again with the 101^st for operation in Iraq when Operation Iraqi Freedom began. He spent a year in Iraq and then came back to the US to come down on orders to Korea. Needless to say he wanted out of the Army because his wife with three kids was about to divorce him. He ended up eating his way out of the Army and I can’t say I blame him. ...

(Read the rest at ROK Drop)

Why do Koreans Complain about U.S. Military in Korea?

Dear Korean,

Why do Koreans complain about the U.S. military force in Korea?

GI Korea


Dear GI Korea,

Allow the Korean first to express his admiration for your blog, ROK Drop. The Korean has been looking forward to this cross-posting for some time.

No matter what the detractors of U.S. military in Korea may say, when push comes to shove, one fact is clear: the presence of American military, overall, is undoubtedly beneficial for Korea.

There is some debate as to whether South Korean military can defeat North Korean military on its own. North Korean military leads in traditional measures of military strength (e.g. number of infantry, etc.) but South Korean military is clearly superior in the technology of their weapons. However, that assumes a war actually occurring, inevitably costing thousands or millions of lives. On the other hand, there is no debate that the presence of American forces serves as a strong deterrent, preventing a war from actually occurring. While peaceful unification would be the most ideal option – please, do not pick fights with the Korean on this topic, since he will address this question some other day – the next best thing would be to avoid a war, and U.S. military is certainly serving that purpose.

This is on top of the fact that if American military did not intervene in 1950, the entire Korean peninsula, rather than the northern half, would be experiencing sustained destitution, famine, and totalitarian dictatorship that daily displays its failure.


The economic miracle that catapulted South Korea into relevance in world economics and politics can be credited to the talent and hard work of South Koreans themselves, which fortuitously converged with favorable international circumstances. However, the credit of enabling South Korea to build a strong economy within half a century must go entirely to the United States. Detractors are free to argue that U.S. acted entirely out of self-interest in helping South Korea, but the Korean does not think the motivation matters. American military freed South Korea from communist dictatorship, and for that South Koreans must be grateful.

Nonetheless, there is no question that many Koreans bitterly complain about the presence of U.S. military presence in Korea. These are some of the areas in which Koreans tend to complain:

The perceived inequality in Status of Forces Agreement (SOFA): SOFA is the treaty that defines the status of the American military within Korea, and many Koreans believe that it is an unfair treaty in various respects. Complaint against SOFA is the umbrella complaint for all complaints.

Land use of American forces: The real estate market in Seoul is absolutely nuts; in choice neighborhoods, prices can easily surpass Manhattan real estate. Therefore, the fact that U.S. military takes up a large piece of prime real estate in the middle of Seoul (Yongsan) without paying any rent does not sit well with many Koreans.

Pollution Issue: Also, when the U.S. military is done with the use of Korean land as a base, there are serious cases of pollution at times. The Korean discussed this issue previously.

Crime by GIs: American military personnel are often implicated in crimes in Korea. Some of the crimes are quite horrific. The most often cited example is a murder of Yoon Geum-Yi by Pvt. Kenneth Lee Markle in 1992. Yoon was a hostess at a club who had known Markle previously. Markle found out Yoon was with another man the night before, and the argument escalated into murder. Yoon was discovered naked with her head bashed in with beer bottles. She had been sodomized with a coke bottle and an umbrella, which were discovered still stuck in her body. While it is incorrect to say crimes by American soldiers are rampant, such crimes, when they do happen, tend to grab Korean people’s attention, much like the way crimes by illegal immigrants (i.e. the perceived “other”) grab the attention of Americans.

Also, while GI criminals would either face court-marshal by the U.S. forces or civilian trial in Korean courts depending on the circumstances in which they committed the crime, the general impression of Koreans is that GI criminals are court-marshaled and receive a slap in the wrist for the crimes. This sentiment was particularly in display in 2002, when two Korean middle school girls were run over by a U.S. armored vehicle, and the soldiers who were operating the vehicle were acquitted in the American military court.

So the question is: why do Koreans complain about American forces in Korea this way, although American military is the one that enabled Koreans to live the current prosperous life?

The Korean can go on and explain why Korean people are justified to think this way on each individual issue, as a parallel to what GI Korea has done at his blog, explaining why these complaints by Koreans are myths. But the Korean thinks there is a more fundamental cause that ties all the issues above; unless that cause is addressed, it is pointless to address each individual manifestation of the cause.

What, then, is the fundamental cause? It is the changing nature of Korean nationalism.

The Korean already explained Korea’s nationalism here. This part is worth rehashing:

“It is crucial to understand that in the worldview of a nationalist, each and every person in the world operates as a member of a team called "United States of America", "Brazil", "Thailand", "South Africa", "France", etc. And each team are striving to outdo one another in a giant world race for power, be it economic, political, social, cultural or any other type one can think of.”

This mentality applies to both older and younger Koreans, but America’s position within this Korean mentality depends heavily on the versions of history to which a Korean may subscribe. For older Koreans, America is a friend and an ally in the great race of nations. The good graces that U.S. military has earned during the Korean War still hold value among older Koreans, who vividly remember the American forces saving the day. To this day, the easiest way for any homeless man in America to get $20 from the Korean Mother is to say “I fought in the Korean War.” Koreans of the Korean War-generation essentially elevated America to the pedestal of sainthood, a country that is purely motivated by altruistic concerns that can do no wrong.

However, the picture becomes drastically different with respect to younger Koreans, usually in their 20s~30s. Again, one must remember that younger Koreans grew up in a drastically different world from older Koreans. They had never seen the destruction of war. Their country was never desperately, starvingly poor. Instead, younger Koreans had seen their country rising to the forefront of world economy, exerting influence that it never before had.

With this new status of Korea, younger Koreans decidedly departed from their elders’ view of America. Unlike (or perhaps, because of) older Koreans’ unquestioned devotion toward the U.S., they viewed American foreign policy with critical eyes, pouncing on every instance in which U.S. displayed anything less than altruism. In fact, many young Koreans have swung to the completely opposite direction from their elders; they are convinced that America will only act out of self-interest, and it would stop at nothing to that end.


In other words, younger Koreans no longer believe that America is an ally in the race of nations. It is another competitor, just like the rest of the world. In fact, it is the most formidable competitor of all, with its vast resources, Herculean economy (even accounting for the recent mess), pervasive cultural power, and towering military strength. Because of America’s superior position in this world-race, younger Koreans observe the U.S. with deep suspicion.

Korean people’s complaint about U.S. military presence is but a symptom of a greater illness: America’s image as a competitor, not an ally. When there is a generalized image problem against America, the U.S. military presence provides the closest and easiest target for those Koreans who have a grudge against America. After all, U.S. military is a physical reminder that America exerts a huge influence over Korea. Nationalistic Koreans do not take kindly to that type of influence, and even the smallest offense by the U.S. military is enough to set them off.

To be sure, Koreans who subscribe to truly virulent anti-Americanism are few in number. Even the new generation of nationalist Koreans does not hate anything and everything about America. Indeed, the opposite is true: American products continue to sell briskly, tourism and study abroad in America are ever increasing, and latest Korean fashion is dictated by the trend shown in American television shows.

However, the new form of nationalism adds a vague fear in an average Korean person’s mind; the fear that, given the right chance, America will take advantage of Korea. Therefore, whenever there is any hint that American military has an unfair advantage in Korea, the most ardent anti-Americanists would use it as a fodder for the fear to flame up into a wide-scale display of anti-Americanism. They expertly distort the truth to sensationalize anything that can be used against the U.S., appealing to the general mass’ vague concern about American influence over Korea. Sometimes their efforts are successful. They succeeded in provoking the mass protests in response to the armored vehicle incident, and against U.S. beef imports to a lesser extent.

An addendum to this point: The Korean does not intend to validate those Koreans who subscribe to virulent anti-Americanism. However, the Korean has to note the appalling incompetence of the U.S. military and the Department of State with respect to handling this type of occurrences. The Korean would not comment on the War in Iraq, except only to say that it generally soured the world’s opinion on the U.S., including Korean people’s opinion. But even without going into America’s grand scheme of foreign relations, time and again the decision-makers of American foreign policy (including the State Department and the military) display a complete neglect towards effort to capture the hearts and minds of their actual and potential allies.

It frustrates the Korean to see so many Koreans believe in lies and distortions about America. But it frustrates the Korean more that many Americans, even the most intelligent and powerful among them, seem to be completely oblivious as to why these lies and distortions work. American foreign policy – military policy included – appears to march to its own drumbeat, regardless of how things may look. Instead of trying to understand the nationalistic fervor that grips most of the world, too many Americans simply fret when they encounter anti-Americanism fueled by lies and distortion, resorting to such idiotic statements like “they hate America because they hate freedom.”

In the meantime, gross falsehood about America gains increasing currency in the rest of the world. New York Times reported that in Egypt, the idea that American government is behind the attacks of 9/11 passes as a conventional wisdom. Why would they believe the crazy notion that American government would kill 3,000 of its own people? Because they hate freedom? Give the Korean a break.

As Americans, it is not enough for us to complain about what people of the world think of us; we should be asking ourselves why they think of America that way, and what we can do to change that perception. United States is the greatest exporter of culture in the world. No other country can hope to rival America with its ability to persuade people through mass media. American companies employ the most sophisticated methods to persuade people to buy all kinds of crap. Then why is it so hard for the State Department and the U.S. military stationed abroad to use the same methods? Why is it so hard to have offices that are dedicated to directly engaging the local media and people, and sell America? You are telling the Korean that America can sell Coca-Cola to Egypt, but not the silly idea that America would not kill 3,000 of its own people just to start a crusade against the Middle East?

Destroying the enemy is necessary, but never sufficient. Unless we also win the hearts of the people of the world, there will never be a complete victory in such a diffuse war as War on Terror. Americans must recognize that the battlefield is not only in the streets of Baghdad, the obstruction not only in the mountains of Afghanistan; there is another battlefield in the hearts and minds of every person in the world, and we must handle at the obstructions of lies and half-truths as much as we negotiate the treacherous mountains.

The Korean is aiming this toward the American policy in conducting the global War on Terror, but engaging the hearts and minds of the people has a universal application, which includes Korea. Korean nationalism is not going away soon, but Koreans deep down recognize the benefits of the protection afforded by the American military. If the U.S. forces in Korea can find a way to engage Korean people in a sophisticated manner – emphasis on “sophisticated”, not in the ham-handed way government people tend to act – complaints against American military presence would be minimal. (See, for example, an excellent analysis from ROK Drop about the lessons learned from the Armored Car Incident.)

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Ask away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Ask a Korean! News: Say Hello to Everyone's Girlfriend, Our New Associate Editor

The ever-growing Ask a Korean! empire welcomes another associate editor to the fold. Yeochin is a lady of mid-20s who teaches English in Incheon, Korea. Finally, an expat representation at the Ask a Korean! family.

Yeochin hails from West Hollywood, California, and has the distinction of having previously worked with Gustavo Arellano, the Mexican himself. While the daily commute from Incheon to AAK!'s 115-story headquarter that towers over the Hudson River may be a little daunting, having three people at the AAK! headquarter means that finally, AAK! can host a spirited game of go stop every night.

(Picture from here.)

Yeochin's first post will be coming soon. Stay tuned.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

One of the Korean's posts is featured on the Korea Herald. (Under "Special", the headline is: Why do expats here complain so much? Sorry, but KH website does not have individual links to articles.) And the hate mails are coming...

-EDIT 9/23/08 8:13 a.m.- Mr. Editor at Korea Herald told the Korean that he received a few phone calls expressing positive reception. Hopefully the phone calls outweigh the hate mails.

Also, Roboseyo somehow found a way to link directly to the article. Here is the link.

Recent testimony from the surviving members of Unit 731 reveals that live human experimentations, such as vivisection without anesthesia, were performed on American and British prisoners as well. Roughly 5,000 people, including 1,203 independence fighters, died as test subjects for Unit 731. (Article in Korean, but click for the picture -- the man on the table is still alive.)

The Korean decided to change the look of the blog. No more stupid questions!

Hope you guys like it.

-EDIT 9/18/08 9:07 p.m. EST- After some suggestions, the Korean made the font a little larger and the background white.

The Korean works right next to the Ground Zero. Getting to work in the morning, the thousands of people passing by were unusually quiet.

In memoriam.

The taint of WWII-era Germany is so strong that, more than 60 years later, there are some Americans protesting the naming rights of a German company to a new Giants/Jets stadium. This is after the company recognized its past and paid millions in restitution. The Korean thinks the protest is somewhat silly, but he cannot help but compare how taint-free Japanese companies are.

Rather cool article on Dong-A Ilbo: Recently revealed documents from the U.S. National Archives say there were some 80 Koreans who served at the Office of Strategic Services, the precursor to the Central Intelligence Agency, in the 1940s. These Koreans were focused on various covert operations to sabotage the Japanese war efforts during World War II. (Article in Korean.)

The Ultimate Korean Looks List – How to Pick Koreans from Other Asians Just by Looking at Them

Dear Korean,

So many people tell me they can tell the difference between Asian groups (i.e. Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, etc). I can't. Are there REALLY distinctive physical features that can instantly tell a person's nationality, and what are they?

Joanne

Dear Joanne,

Are there really distinctive features among Asians? Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes.

It is a skill that requires subtle differentiation. It is like tasting for difference in Merlot and Shiraz. If you were a first time wine drinker, you may not notice. However, once you get the difference, you would not be able to tolerate the philistines who do not see the obvious differences.

While the Korean has his own way of telling apart all Asian ethnicities, he will only write about how to tell Koreans apart from other Asians, since he only claims to be an authority on Koreans and no other ethnicity.

To be clear, this is an attempt to distinguish various Asians just by looking at them. More obvious indicators like looking at people’s last names or listening to their languages/accents are omitted for the purpose of this post.

Many, many thanks to our great associate editor who provided brilliant points that the Korean missed.

Disclaimer

But first, the Korean must put out some important disclaimers, since the Korean has a feeling that this post is going to get him into a lot of trouble. Here it goes:

1. The Korean already knows that broad, stereotypical generalizations are often incorrect, and insulting to those who do not fall into that generalization. But please realize that this post does NOT contain that type of generalization.

In other words, the Korean is never saying that “All Koreans are X or Y.” Rather, he is saying that “People who have X or Y traits tend to be Koreans.” The Korean thinks this is a fair statement, as there are certain things that Koreans do that few other Asians do. Although the list may seem to sound otherwise at times, please know that the Korean never intends to say "All Koreans are X or Y."

2. The Korean also realizes that on the blog, it is sometimes difficult to tell if the Korean is serious or joking. Well, there should be no question about it in this post: THIS POST IS MEANT TO BE IN HUMOR. Please do not get upset.

How to Use the List

1. With many Asians, there is no single feature that gives away their ethnicity. Often, it is multiple factors adding up. Therefore, the Korean assigned “Confidence Level” to each category, ranging from 1 through 5. Weigh different confidence levels to calculate the probability, and make the most probable prediction.

2. This list would show that the strongest indicators are related to fashion and style. Therefore, it may not be very applicable with Asian Americans, because Asian Americans slowly assimilate their style into the mainstream American fashion. How far assimilated depends entirely on the individual; one Korean American’s fashion would be indistinguishable from Koreans in Korea, and another Korean American’s fashion would be indistinguishable from your boy/girl next door. Therefore, this list is most applicable to: Korean tourists, older Korean Americans (because they tend to retain more from their original country), and recently immigrated Korean Americans (ditto). With many Asian Americans, this list would be of little help.

3. Even when everything seems to point to one direction using the list, and the sum of confidence level is totaling in 100, you will often be wrong nonetheless. Just think how ridiculous it is to characterize the looks of 73 million Koreans worldwide! The Korean considers himself to be as good as anyone, but his success rate is about 75 percent, tops. Again, please don’t take this exercise seriously.

Enough chitchat—onto the almighty list!

The Ultimate Korean Looks List – How to Pick Koreans from Other Asians Just by Looking at Them

The Big Distinction – Let’s first make sure that you can tell East Asians (= Chinese, Japanese, Korean) and Southeast Asians (= Indonesian, Malaysian, Vietnamese, Cambodian) apart. Pushing the wine analogy a little further, the distinction between East Asian and Southeast Asian is the distinction between red and white wine. If you can’t even do this, there is no way you can apply the rest of the list. Stop reading now.

Throwing a wrench in this distinction (like Rose wine maybe) is that there are many Southeastern Asians who are ethnically Chinese who migrated to the region many centuries ago. (The Hmongs) These people, appearance-wise, are indistinguishable from regular Chinese, although they will say they are Vietnamese, Indonesian, etc., when asked. There is no way to predict this population other than geographic concentration. As far as the Korean knows, ethnic-Chinese-Southeastern Asians in America tend to be concentrated in Central California and around Minneapolis somehow. (Confidence Level = 1). There may be other regions; the Korean just doesn’t know.

Numerical Inference – In America, Korean- and Chinese-Americans outnumber Japanese Americans. Therefore when you see an Asian person in America, assuming you can make the “big distinction”, the choice is usually 50-50: Korean or Chinese. (Confidence Level = 4) Since Koreans physically look most similar to Japanese, if you can narrow a person down to either Korean or Japanese, the numerical inference says the person is likely to be Korean.
This indicator, however, loses strength in areas where tourists are prevalent, such as Times Square, Disneyland, and major airports.

General Physique – with respect to body types, on average, Koreans tend to be taller and bigger than other Asians. Asians who are on the taller side (between 5”11” and 6’3” for men, between 5’7” and 5’10” for women) tend to be Korean. (Confidence Level = 2).

General Complexion – on average, Koreans tend to be a shade lighter in complexion than other Asians, except Japanese. However, very pale skin occurs in all three ethnicities. Highly unreliable in California, where everyone is tanned. (Confidence Level = 1)

General Facial Features – on average, Korean and Japanese tend to have smaller facial features, i.e. smaller eyes, nose, lips, etc. In other words, Asians without any strong facial features (i.e. flatter face, without a strong nose or thicker lips, for example) are more likely to be Korean or Japanese. Once you narrowed it down to here, you can use the numerical inference depending on where you are. (Confidence Level = 2)

Facial Hair (Men) – Asian men who sport a strong, thick facial hair (beard, goatee, etc.) tend not to be Koreans. (Confidence Level = 4) Those who do have facial hair tend to keep it trimmed short, and beards or stubble never extend to the neck. You will never, EVER see a Korean neckbeard. (Confidence Level = 4)

Eyebrows (Women) - If an Asian woman's eyebrows have been not just plucked, but shaved and trimmed into a thin shape, she’s likely Korean. Korean women prefer to shave than pluck when styling eyebrows, because the prevailing belief is that over-plucking causes the skin around the eyebrow to sag with age. (Confidence Level = 3)

Eyes – once upon a time, the lack of epicanthic fold (i.e. “double eyelids”) tended to indicate non-Korean; with the prevalence of plastic surgery among young Korean women, this indicator lost some of its effectiveness. But among men and older people, this is still a decent indicator. (Confidence Level = 2) (Picture is from a Korean plastic surgeon website, with a somewhat NSFW name.)

Compared to other Asians, Korean eyes are set relatively shallow. To measure this, extend your index finger, and place the fingertip on your eyebrow and lower part of the finger on your cheekbone. With shallow-set eyes, your finger touches the eye. Deep-set eyes sit beneath your finger. (Confidence Level = 2)

Amongst women, Koreans are the most likely to wear colored contact lenses, or even circle lenses to make their iris (and their eye in general) look bigger. (Confidence Level = 3) Wearing glasses are uncommon for young women past high school. (Confidence Level = 3)

Nose (Women) –Due to popularity of plastic surgery in Korea, young Asian women with narrow, pointy noses tend to be Korean. (Confidence Level = 3)

Lips – On average, Koreans and Japanese tend to have thinner lips than other Asians. (Confidence Level = 1)

Teeth – On average, Koreans have a high awareness of cosmetic dentistry, and adult Koreans will have relatively well-formed, well-maintained teeth, whether it is natural or from years of wearing braces and retainers. (Confidence Level = 4) Koreans are also likely to get gold molar caps and infills – peer in when they say aaaah. (Confidence Level = 2)

Armpits (women) – Lack of armpit hair tends to indicate Korean, as Korean women are probably the only Asians who shave or wax their armpit hair. There is a lot of stigma in armpit hair, the usual lines of it being disgusting and unsightly and unladylike. Moreover, some Koreans are genetically unable to grow armpit hair. (Confidence Level = 3)

Facial Expression – in a neutral state (i.e. not talking with a friend or watching something in particular), Koreans tend to look like they are pissed off. (Confidence Level = 2)

Hairstyle (Men) – Currently, long, shaggy haircut is the trend in Korea, so a young Asian man who sports the style is likely to be Korean. (Confidence Level = 5)

Shaggy Cut - Example (Picture from a Korean shopping website that sells hair curlers.)

Hairstyle (Women) – The currently trendy haircut is the “mushroom cut” or “princess cut”. A young Asian woman with this style is likely to be Korean. (Confidence Level = 5)

Mushroom Cut - Example (Picture from a Daum.net Q&A section.)

Princess Cut - Example (From here. Please pay attention to the haircut.)

With older Asian women, the ajumma perm is a strong sign. (Confidence Level = 4) (Picture from an Empas Q&A section. The lady is Kim Hye-Ja, a very famous Korean actress.)

(Also, the Korean would be remiss if he did not link to Stuff Korean Moms Like post on perms on Korean women.)

Even when not following a trend, Korean women have expensive haircuts, and their hair looks expensive and heavily layered (there is very little hair actually hanging down). Not very reliable, as there are many non-Korean women who specifically seek Korean hair salons. (Confidence Level = 1)

Headgears (Women) – Many Korean women are big fans of caps. They like to think it keeps them fair-skinned. You should see our SPF 75+ sunscreens, sold at $50 a pop. No joke. Asian women who wear caps tend to be Koreans. (Confidence Level = 4) With older women, wearing a large visor that looks like a welding mask is a sign that they are Korean. (Confidence Level = 3)

Makeup (Women) – Korean women have acquired a mastery of cosmetics unseen in other parts of Asia. A particularly well-made-up Asian woman (e.g. with well-plucked eyebrows, good level of foundation, perfectly split mascara, well-drawn eye-liners, nice selection of lipstick colors, etc.) tends to be Korean. (Confidence Level = 4)

Depending on the woman’s propensity to wear makeup, you may occasionally see a woman who has a tan line along her face, or her face is distinctively two shades lighter than the back of her hands – meet the dreaded ‘makeup tanline’. That’s right, boys and girls, she wore so much makeup she couldn’t get sunburnt. (Confidence Level = 3)

Accessories (Men) – Asian man with a “man bag” tends to be Korean. (Confidence Level = 2) Also, due to the popularity of “couple rings” -- i.e. rings that boyfriends and girlfriends wear, akin to "promise rings" in certain parts of America -- an Asian man wearing a ring at a non-wedding-ring position tends to be Korean. (Confidence Level = 3)

Accessories (Women) – Big hoop earrings and chain-type accessories are popular among Korean women currently. (Confidence Level = 2) A perennial favorite of Korean women is the shape of a ribbon tied into a bow. (Confidence Level = 3) They will wear earrings, pendants, mobile phone charms, and even clothing randomly decorated with bows often pre-tied or pre-cast in its shape, but somehow, will never actually tie a ribbon into their hair into a bow.

General Fashion (Men) – Currently, the fashion trend in Korea for men is tight-fitting clothes, especially skinny jeans. (Confidence Level = 3) Korean men have no fashion sense of their own that can’t be vetoed by the women; they are dressed by surrounding women - like how tides are determined by the pull of the sun and the moon - the largest force usually being their girlfriends. This makes their clothing rather … uh, unisex. (Confidence Level = 4)

Socks (Men) – What if they’re all wearing business suits and you can’t tell? Check their ankles. Your authentic Korean will always wear white sports socks with his business suit, and if they’re feeling dressy, some sort of hideous carpet-patterned grey socks. (Confidence Level = 2) Bonus points if the socks have a brand decal on them, and a prize goes to anyone who finds the ubiquitous Playboy Bunny! (Confidence Level = 10++ with Playboy Bunny, though “BYC” can be substituted; 5 with socks with decals; 3 with grey socks; 2 with white socks)

General Fashion (Women) – For young women, fabrics are often extremely thin and the colours are muted (primary colours are for kids, strong pastels for older women). (Confidence Level = 5) These clothing are often layered on top of another, usually combined with leggings that end at the knees and a bolero jacket. Most blouses, tops and jackets are cut very high at the waist. Wearing halternecks and singlet tops on top of baggier, longer-sleeved clothing is very common. (Confidence Level = 5) In winter, patterned pantyhose are worn under the leggings. (Confidence Level = 5) The clothing themselves often lack sequins or fancy detailing except at the chest level. (Confidence Level = 5) The clothing itself is never dressy, but the accessories such as belts, handbags and jewelry often are over the top. (Confidence Level = 4)

Add all that, and the ensemble looks like this:

The overall look is that of a literally overdressed woman who outgrew exactly half of her wardrobe. Leggings poking out of denim skirt? Korean. Three different tops and two different bottoms on at the same time? Korean. Halterneck top on top of a t-shirt? Sadly, Korean. Is that a kid’s cardigan draped over her shoulders? Yeaaaaaaah, Go Corea!

Wintertime – Come wintertime, many Koreans wear naebok (lit. innerwear), which is a type of thermal underwear. However, unlike most thermal underwear, naebok is very thin and very, very tight-fitting. They come in hilariously unflattering colors of red, pink, peach, grey, light blue and the traditional(?) peach with white horizontal stripes (or would that be white with peach horizontal stripes?) Although naebok are much tighter-fitting than the Mormon magic underwear and are designed to be worn over normal underwear, telltale bulges and bits of naebok peeking out often gives a Korean away in winter. (Confidence Level = 4)

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Here is an interesting survey: HSBC ranked best countries for expats, and Singapore ranked top, followed by U.S. and UAE.