Ask A Korean! News: A Possible Hate Crime?

According to Associated Press, a Korean exchange student at Auburn University in Alabama was beaten up by four men on the 19th at his dorm, three days after the Virginia Tech shooting. FBI is currently investigating whether it was hate-motivated. The Korean student was not wounded very seriously.

Given that the exchange student has only been in the country for a month, it seems likely that it was a hate crime. The Korean is not sure if he should be outraged, or be thankful that it is the only reported case of hate crime after the shooting.

Koreans Also Have Exceptionally Strong Neck

Dear Korean,

It is a running joke among many of my friends that Koreans have abnormally large heads, which is the best way for us white folk to distinguish them from other Asians. One drunken night we decided to do an experiement and measured everyone in the room's heads--and found that the two Koreans did in fact have larger heads that the rest of us (an extra inch in diameter, as I recall). I also read once that North Koreans who've escaped to the South are often ridiculed for their oversized noggins, which look more disproportionate because they've suffered from malnutrition. But this doesn't explain why Korean's have such big heads in the first place. Why do Korean's have such large heads?

Pinheaded Whitey

Congratulations, Pinheaded Whitey. You're the first one who ever sent a Korean-related question that completely stumped the Korean. The Korean has no freakin' idea how to answer your question. According to the Korean's own experience, it seemed like southern Chinese people (the Cantonese-speaking folks) had the largest head among all Asians. The largest head size the Korean has ever seen belongs to a white man, a proud 8.25 inches of hat size.

The Korean could counter your question by talking about large head and big brain and such, but that's just weak. Besides, if that were true, whales would be running the world anyway.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

When are YOU getting married?

Dear Korean,

Is there a graceful, mature, yet honest way to answer elders' never ending question - 'Why aren't you married?' Or, from my grandmother on this New Year's Day,"There's nothing wrong with meeting someone and getting married. That's the last thing I am waiting to see before I die." The answer, if communicated truthfully, is very complicated. I'm not even quite sure what their point is in asking, since they don't seem to want an explanation. I am going to Korea for a month in the spring and anticipate most of my energy spent justifying my marital status.

Sunny K.

Dear Korean,

I'd like to ask you about why Koreans put so much emphasis on marriage AFTER graduation from college or grad school? It's so funny to see Korean parents force their kids to study all their lives and then wonder why their son or daughter has no marriage prospects at all. My family members (they're Korean) are pushing me to find a wife but I guess I'm driving them crazy since I've decided like many other men, to live a bachelor by choice lifestyle - I don't date and I don't care. Am I causing them to go insane since there would be zero gossip about me?

Slasher

Dear Sunny and Slasher,

You remind the Korean of a Korean joke: "How is a woman like a Christmas cake? They sell like crazy on 22, 23, 24; they slow down on 25, and after 26 they are half-priced." But it's not just women - it's the same for men, although men can afford to be late by about 2~3 years.

The marriage question is seriously the most pesky thing for young Korean people - even young Korean people in Korea have no idea what to do about that. Elders ask that because it's just a requisite step in life. First you go through school, then you get a job, then you get married. There's got to be something wrong with you if you miss one of the steps.

Sadly, the Korean really has no idea, although he empathizes 100 percent. Plenty of Korean elders ask the Korean the same question, the Korean simply replies "it will happen sooner or later," and they generally let it go. Like you suggested, it's not like the elders really want to know what's going on - they just ask because it's what they are supposed to ask.

Your Mother.

Dear Korean:

Our daughter has just started her freshman year at a small university with about a 20% international student body. She is well versed in various cultures but has taken a fascination to the South Korean Culture. We have had her Korean friends in our home. My question is this: Do Korean young men pursue American women? Our daughter had started what she thought was a relationship with a young Korean man who had been physical in the manner of holding hands, hugging and expressing his feelings; but when she confronted him to find out what his intentions were, he became very vocal and humiliating. Is this common for young men from South Korea? I think that our daughter might like to marry a Korean but everything that I have researched does not show that Korean men would be a good marriage partner since the Korean society is so male dominated and women take such a second role. Thanks in advance.

Alice E.

Dear Alice,

The first thing the Korean thought reading your email was that mothers are the same everywhere in the world. You should have seen the Korean Mother when the Korean brought home his first white girlfriend. If there were Ask A Korean! back then, the Korean Mother would have sent in this question: "How do I make my son drop that white devil girlfriend?"

Do Korean men pursue white women? Sure, all (straight) men pursue women, no matter what the race. Is what your daughter going through with that Korean boy somehow culturally related? Maybe, but it doesn't sound too different from any boy-girl interaction. Maybe he liked your daughter enough, but wasn't ready for commitment.

But the Korean thinks your broader question is important. The Korean would be the first one to say that Korean culture indeed is male-dominated and women tend to take a second role. But the Korean thinks this is a healthy way of thinking about culture - culture is nothing but a trend. Some people follow the trend, and some don't. All one can do is be aware of it, and be ready to evaluate people on individual basis. It's just like looking at pit bulls. They are generally fierce, but some of them are quite docile.

Another thing is that Korean society is changing very, VERY fast. The Korean visits Korea every two, three years, and the shift in cultural attitude in each visit is simply astonishing. Simply put, the youngest generation of Koreans are really not very different from Americans. So who knows?

It's good that you are aware of the culture, but please be ready to make individual evaluation before you jump to any conclusion. If that Korean boy was a trend-follower, he would not have pursued a white girl anyway.

Psycho Mass Murderer Edition

Thank you for waiting folks, the Korean is back after the busiest three-week stretch of his life. The Korean must say that every time he tries to get some rest from the Korean-American world, something always happens to pull him back in.

First, the Korean’s sincerest condolence and regret to the families of the Virginia Tech shooting. These are the times that the Korean is glad being a Christian, so that he can pray for the people; it’s also satisfying to believe that Cho Seung-hui will be in hell for eternity.

Honestly, the Korean does not think Adam Cho have put the Korean American community in danger. (“Adam” is the psycho killer’s English name by the way. If Cho was like most Korean Americans, there would be less than three people in the world – his father, mother, and maybe his sister – who called him Seung-hui when he was alive. On the other hand, it is funny and annoying to see people mangling that name that no one used when he was alive. Back to the topic.)

This is not another 9/11, where there is a sense that America was under attack by foreigners, and that foreigner might be that guy wearing a turban. Cho’s actions were so clearly psychopathic that possibly no one who is halfway non-stupid can entertain the thought that being a Korean had something to do with propensity for mass murder.

Yet the world is full of stupid people, and they try their best acting stupid. So we would have such news report from New York Times and ABC that Cho’s picture of holding a hammer looks just like scenes from Oldboy. The Korean can see the thought process as if it’s displayed in a glass case: Let’s see, the psycho killer is Korean, so something Korean must have turned him psycho… what’s the first psychotic Korean thing I can name? … I know, Oldboy! Let’s reverse this thought process: Hmm, the psycho killer lived in America since young, so something American must have turned him psycho… where have I seen double handguns? … I know, Gary Cooper from High Noon! It’s gotta be the old Western films that turn people into mass murders! Give me a break.

The thing that makes the Korean most disappointed is that even with this, Second Amendment will live on. As long as someone lives in Virginia, he can buy any number of handguns and go on a rampage. The Korean cannot believe that it is not a bigger deal. Look, murderous psychos will always be there. Then why isn’t it more efficient to take the methods of killings away? It makes no sense. Follow Korea’s lead for once: criminalize gun possession, and lock up hunting guns during non-hunting season.

What is more interesting is the Korean people’s reaction to this. Koreans, in short, completely flipped out. The guilt trip about the fact that Cho was a Korean was simply enormous, and they desperately tried to find a way to apologize to America. Apparently, the Korean ambassador at D.C. even suggested fasting as a show of condolence and regret.

The Korean can try to somehow explain Korean’s people’s reaction through something about Korean culture – how it’s like every Korean is a family, and you take responsibility for actions of family members, not just yourself, and all that garbage. But that’s simply untrue, and saying such a thing is dishonest. Korean people flipped out because they are racists; there can be no other explanation. Only thing that Korean people can see about Cho is his race, and they reacted accordingly. They desperately try to apologize to Americans because, if the situation was reversed and 32 Koreans died in the hands of a deranged American, all Americans in Korea will be lynched.

In making this point, some Korean commentators have been giving the example of the two girls who were accidentally run over by American tanks, and how Korean people reacted strongly to that. The Korean thinks that’s a bad example, because American army represents the American government. More relevant is a case that happened a few months ago, when a Chinese man was arrested for killing his Korean girlfriend and dismembering her body. That prompted an Internet firestorm of how Chinese people in Korea are all crazy killers and they need to be driven away.

Readers, please don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise. America is the least racist country in the world, and you should be grateful that you live here.

The Korean is still alive!

He is just swamped with final papers and exams. New posts will come this weekend. In the meantime, send in questions!

The Japanese' Incredible Ability to Forget Their Past - Update 3

The process for publishing a textbook in Japan is the following: first, publishers write a draft of a textbook. Then the textbook has to be "approved" by the Ministry of Education. MoE may outright refuse to approve the book, or approve the book subject to modification.

Out of the 16 new history textbooks for Japanese high school students, not one of them says that Comfort Women were forcibly drafted by the Japanese military. Also, modification requirement was added on to 5 Japanese History textbooks with respect to the number of deaths in the Rape of Nanking, with the MoE opinion that states "the number did not take various different theories as to casualties into enough consideration."