Here is something interesting: 128 art students from renowned art colleges of Korea turned a slum in Seoul into a large outdoor artwork.

Korean Adoptees Visiting Korea?

Dear Korean,

I am a Swedish woman originally adopted from Korea. I know that a lot of children in Korea have been adopted to western countries since the 1950's and I am curious of how Korean people in general view this - the driving forces of the adoptions, foremost within Korea, is there an active discussion for example? I am aware that there might be as many views on this as there are Koreans, but I am interested in the general discourse on the topic.

Linda

Dear Korean,

I'm a Korean adoptee who is returning to Korea for the first time to adopt my own daughter. I've heard a lot of scuttlebutt that there's a stigma against adoption in the motherland. So, I wanted to ask you what really is the Korean attitude towards international adoption? Will I be looked down on upon my return?

Kerri

Dear Korean,

I have a few questions to you concerning how Koreans think and feel about people who have been adopted away from Korea. Myself, I am a 28-year old woman living in Norway. I was born in Korea, but adopted to Norway at the age of 5 months. There are actually quite a lot of Korean adoptees here, and quite a few are quite curious about going back to the biological country, and even finding their biological family. For me, that's not really an issue since I feel 100% Norwegian, and I think I would only feel uncomfortable about going back to try to find a link there which just isn't there. However, my question is how the citizens of Korea feel about people who have been adopted from Korea, both those who return to find their lost past, and those who really don't care about their birth country. Are there any sympathies, prejudices, or things Koreans are curious about?

Heidi

Dear Korean,

I am an adopted South Korean raised in Minnesota USA. I have never visited the Fatherland as an adult but I want to soon. When I go to South Korea, is it true they will know by just looking at me that I am an American? Will I be shunned, ostracized, belittled by native Koreans because I do not know their language or culture, and because I am an American?

Jonathan Paul Lindberg, aka Gil Young Woo, aka Johnny Woo

Dear Questioners,

One of the more gratifying aspects of running AAK! is that the Korean is serving as a liaison for many Korean adoptees to Korean culture. It is a sobering responsibility that always makes the Korean think twice about what he writes.

Picture of a Korean adoptee (source)

The Korean previously wrote about how Koreans may perceive non-Koreans who adopt Korean children. But what do Koreans think about the adoptees themselves?

The best answer is: nothing. For better or worse, international adoption has never been featured as a big topic of discussion within the Korean society. There has been some discussion about the responsibility that the Korean society owes to orphans, and what a shame it is having to export babies rather than take care of Korea’s own children. Once in a while, there would be a human-interest feature on television or newspaper about kind-hearted non-Koreans who adopted a number of Korean children, or the journey of Korean adoptees trying to find their roots. But they do not draw much attention – Koreans just have more pressing issues to deal with in their society.

This means that on an individual level, the sentiment toward adoptees may vary widely – some people may have given a lot of thoughts on the issue, and others not at all. But generally, people realize that adoptees did not have much choice about the fact that they were adopted abroad. Therefore, broadly speaking, people would be sympathetic toward adoptees visiting Korea. In fact, news organizations and other non-profit organizations often sponsor adult adoptees to visit Korea and locate their birth parents if possible. There is also an annual event where a number of non-profit foundations in Korea invite more than 400 adult adoptees from 15 countries to visit Korea and experience Korean culture, visit their hometown, etc.

What does this mean on the ground level, i.e. when you are traveling in Korea? At this point, allow the Korean to expand the topic beyond adoptees who wish to travel Korea:

The Korean is always amused by people who think that Korea is this mystical, tradition-bound place where a single heretical move or remark would cause people on the street to hurl stones at them. Please – enough with the “How will I be treated if I traveled to Korea” questions! Korea is a regular place where regular people live. Most people are too busy with their own affairs to care about some tourist who won’t affect their lives in any meaningful way. Storekeepers are concerned with the bottom line, and they will sell you things if you have money for it. (Imagine that!) You might get stared at a little if you look really different from the locals, but so what?

STOP SENDING THOSE QUESTIONS. Seriously. Your teachers lied to you – there are such things as stupid questions, and those questions are stupid. The Korean has flamingly gay friends who traveled all over Iran. Miraculously, they were not stoned to death! (Instead, they report that there is a vibrant, if underground, homosexual culture in Iran as well.) Of course, you have to use your common sense. Tourists are targets of crime anywhere in the world. Drunken men might harass you from time to time. You might be overcharged for some things. It is a bad idea to walk around at night on your own in dark places. But really, if two gay dudes who made a habit of making out in the streets of Tehran can safely travel Iran, you can safely travel Korea no matter what you happen to be.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Nobel Prize-winning economist/columnist Paul Krugman warns of American education in decline.

There will be a post forthcoming about the educational system in Korea, but the Korean will say this much for now: he moved from Korea to the U.S. at the age of 16 without knowing much English, and graduated second in class from his high school. It is extremely unlikely that the same outcome in the reverse direction would have been possible. The Korean's high school in Korea had a number of students who spent their youth abroad -- none of them escaped the bottom 10th percentile of the school.

To be sure, Korean educational system has a ton of flaws of its own. But as it stands now, it is vastly outperforming its American counterpart. As an American, the Korean worries.

Ask a Korean! Wiki: Does This Guy Look Korean?

Dear Korean,

I am a Western-born Chinese who is half Southern Chinese and half Northern Chinese, which is mix that you can sort of see in my face. In China, people are usually convinced that I am Korean. Part of this is because I dress and move like a foreigner, speak passable but not perfect Mandarin, yet do not look like a Hongkinese (too tall). But taking these factors out of the equation, people still insist that my face looks Korean. I've never lived anywhere that has a big Korean population so I don't know what this means. I don't look anything like Margaret Cho, Kim Jong Il or Euna Lee. The only possible relevant indicator on your 'How to Pick Koreans from Other Asians' list, in the context of the US, seems to be : "Facial Expression – in a neutral state, Koreans tend to look like they are pissed off. (Confidence Level = 2)"

Do I look Korean, and why? Or do I just look pissed off?

- Tze Ming

Dear Tze Ming,

To the Korean, you look VERY Chinese. But it would be interesting to hear from the readers. What do you think, readers? Does Tze Ming look Korean?

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Happy Chuseok, Everyone

Today is chuseok, the harvest moon festival in Korea. People get a three-day holiday, and the roads and the trains are packed to the brim as the 12 million people of Seoul visit their hometowns.

Here is a nice picture of the bright chuseok moon, taken in Seoul circa 1969.

(Source)

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Heartbreaking New York Times column about the Korean's alma mater. This is not what the Korean needs before the USC game...

I Love You, Man

Dear Korean,

I'm always puzzled by the issue about the difference of affection among Korean men. I heard that Korean men tend to be touchy to each other without feeling awkward, unlike Western countries that consider anything intimate behavior between guys are 'gay'. Is it true that Korean men are open to intimate behavior towards each other?

Curious

Dear Korean,

Do Korean men have closer friendships with one another than American men have? This is the reason I ask. I am an American male and have become friends with two Korean guys. An expression that they both use frequently over the phone and in e-mails is: "I miss you." An American guy would never say this! There is nothing wrong with this expression, but if an American male friend said it to me, it would sound "a little gay." Obviously these Korean guys don’t mean it that way; they are just being warm and friendly. I've also heard that if a Korean guy has a crisis, people wonder if he will go to his wife for consolation or to his best male friend.

Please let me know what you think -- Do Korean men have closer friendships with one another than American men have?

Steven F.

Dear Korean,

My question has to do with male social behavior in S. Korea. I'm a New Yorker living in Seoul. I'm not much of a social butterfly but I do like to talk to the natives here. I was recently introduced to a rather uncomfortable custom. I met a young man in his 30's who happens to be fellow student at my Taekwon-Do classes. I told him my age for customary reasons and we conversed for some time, but something strange started happening and I didn't know how to adjust. He started putting his arm around me. Yes I know is sounds insignificant, but it was a bit beyond my comfort zone when I socialize with the same sex. I'm guessing this was a sign of acceptance, but it was rather uncomfortable and abrupt. I do like this young man and I don't want to jeopardize whatever potential friendship we can have over this issue. However, like I said, the arm 'thing' is a bit beyond my comfort zone. Can you explain to me the significance behind this behavior in Korean males and should I reciprocate it? Where I come from I don't see much of that kind of behavior displayed among men unless they subscribe to an alternative sexual preference. Maybe if I understood the significance I could adjust more easily.

Allan W.


Dear questioners,

There are two components to the question. First, why do Korean men feel more comfortable being touchy-feely with one another? Second, do Korean men have a deeper level of friendship with one another as a result?

Koreans are definitely more expressive of their same-sex friendship. Like Allan pointed out, a man putting an arm around a male friend is extremely common. Women walk around holding hands with another woman friend. They are perfectly comfortable seeing each other naked (given that’s what people do in public baths, which is a significant part of Korean life). Like Steven said, saying “I miss you” between male friends is common. “Man dates” are also much more common in Korea, without any need for a sporting event being on television.

Nope, nothing to see here.

Why is this? The easy answer is to say: that’s just how Koreans are. Koreans are generally touchier than Americans in same-sex friendship situation. Not as much as Italians or Spaniards who kiss each other on the cheeks, but certainly touchier than Americans. There is really no telling as to why this is the case – it is essentially a historical accident.

The answer that requires more thought is – why aren’t Americans touchier? This is also a question that would require an involved look in history, but there is certainly one of the themes that consistently appears – homophobia. (The questions allude to this as well.) Americans – especially American men – are so deeply afraid of appearing to be homosexual that they go certain lengths to avoid appearing to be sensitive.

The Korean had an experience where the contrast was starkly displayed. He had a chance to visit Las Vegas with several friends from Korea who saw the city for the first time, and several friends from America who saw the city for the first time as well. One of the prime attractions of Las Vegas (aside from rampant gambling, boozing and whoring) is the dancing fountain of Bellagio, an enormous and beautiful set of water jets that sway according to many different pieces of music. In both occasions, because of random events, the Korean found himself with one other male friend watching the fountain – both friends very significant to the Korean, although the friend from Korea had a longer history with him.

As the fountain danced to My Heart Will Go On, the Korean’s two interactions were decidedly different. With the friend from Korea, the conversation was definitely more relaxed. We talked about how beautiful and romantic the fountain was, and rued the fact that we did not have girlfriends to be wowed with the fountain when we showed it to them. With the friend from the U.S., the conversation was mostly centered on the marvelous engineering feat of the water cannons, tempered by periods of awkward silence in between.

(Even with the friend from Korea, however, the Korean drew the line at the gondola ride at the Venetian. But that’s the Korean’s American side.)

Then the natural question is – aren’t Korean men afraid of looking like gays? The Korean wishes he could say that Korea is a wonderfully tolerant place in which men are confident enough of their sexuality not to let homophobia get in the way of a healthy bromance. But unfortunately, homophobia is not a factor in Korea for a completely different reason – because gays in Korea are so deeply driven underground, they are not in a position to threaten the majority. So it is more accurate to say that Korean men can push toward their feminine side a lot more closely because being accused of homosexuality is a lot less likely event in Korea. (Although more likely recently.) The Korean’s guess is that even in the future when homosexuality becomes more prominent in Korea, the “markers” by which gays are identified will be significantly different from the markers in the U.S.

The second question is, do Korean men have deeper/more meaningful friendship than American men? It is true that overt expression of one’s emotion is at least one of gauges for the strength of that emotion. This is particularly true if one considers that expression of emotion reinforces the strength of that emotion.

But at the end of the day, there is no definitive way to answer this question, since emotion is not something one can see. One would be hard-pressed to see young men in the American military, for example, and think that they do not necessarily share the same sense of brotherhood as young men in Korean military do. Bromance happens all over the world, and there is no real way of measuring the strength of it.

NOTE: This post only is speaking of same-sex friendship. If you are a woman, and a Korean guy is being touchy, that probably means he is interested in you, and not in a platonic way.

-EDIT 10/5/2009 8:45 p.m.- Commenter Brit made an excellent point that the Korean forgot to mention:

One thing you neglect to mention here in the cultural differences between Americans and Koreans is the value in America over the individual. Some people might want to chalk this up to homophobia, but I see it more like this: Americans are infinitely more protective of their "personal space" and this extends even to our close friendships.

-EDIT 10/9/2009 7:00 p.m.- Excellent example of bromance in Korea: Tablo, member of a hip hop group called Epik High in Korea, spoke about how he burst into tears when he saw an email from Tukutz, fellow member of Epik High who recently began serving his military duty. Both Tablo and Tukutz are dudes.

Got a quesiton or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.